"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, April 18, 2014

in packs of 12.

today i'd like to talk about bikes and boys.
and what i'd like to say about bikes and boys is only two words long:
SNEAKER HOLES.
we're gonna be going through sneakers like wildfire over here.
that's what i'm thinking.
'cause that only took him about a month to burn through those.
walmart has a $10 special?
in packs of 12.
boys:)
worth every penny.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

plus, the rose bushes will just put holes in the screens by the end of summer anyway.

because if we fixed our window screens and put them back up,
she wouldn't be able to do this.
and i love that she does this.
plus, the rose bushes will just put holes in the screens by the end of summer anyway.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

a day in the life of "brennan's mom"

my daily flower from cade swensen.
brennan's best friend from down the street.
once a day, every day.
and then all of a sudden i had an entire pack of boys placing flowers at my feet.
telling me which ones are their favorites and why.
and all about their flower explorations that only cops and robbers can go on.
and naming the ones they knew.
like the tulips they insisted were roses and daffodils and dandelions.
and one that they said smelled like toilet bowl water,
but really i thought it smelled quite nice.
a great day in the life of "brennan's mom."

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

cash is king!

tonight when the thing at the gas station asked for my form of payment, 
i all of a sudden realized that when i was 16 i didn't have a credit card,
and what in the heck did i use to pay for gas back then anyway???
and then as i swiped my card,
entered in my coupon code,
and selected the cheapest gas option i could,
it hit me.
CASH!!!
i used cash!
and then as i stood there freezing my buns off
because i'm past the point of remembering coats to go places at this point in the year,
i sat there trying to figure out if i could actually remember paying with cash for gas.
i can remember standing in line inside Cheaper gas 
or whatever that convenience store was called on kelly and main back then.
and i can remember i didn't have a cell phone to look at while i was waiting in line
so i was probably looking at the video safety cam over the register
seeing if my hair was sticking up
or if toilet paper was sticking to my shoe,
or if i could see my underwear lines through my jeans or something like that.
and i can remember that gas was only 99 cents.
but i can't  for the life of me remember handing cash to the cashier.
even though that was absolutely the way i must have paid.
and did you have to pay before??
or was it after?
and how did they not have a gas theft problem if it was after,
but how do you KNOW exactly how much gas you want to buy until you've actually pumped it?
do you really have to go back inside to get your change if you've over paid or pay more if you've underpaid.
maybe that's why the lines were always so long.
or maybe it was just the cheap gas.
i don't remember it one bit.
excepts for the bits i do.
go figure.

at least we know he's not a serial killer {a thank you note}

Dear Mrs. Ames,
Thank you for giving us 
the mellow group of girls, 
and the quietest boy in the entire Kindergarten.
It made for the best 
Kindergarten zoo field trip 
I've ever been on!
Wait...
Anyway, now I know 
FOR SURE you really do love me.
Because I saw some of the other groups.
God Bless you:)
Love,
Brennan's Mom
P.S.
Also, Brennan was in tears in the snake house.
Like he couldn't even speak because he was stifling a cry that gasped for air, and then burst into an I can't breathe 
because I'm so scared 
and I'm holding my breath so i don't cry kind of cry,
with huge tears rolling out of his big brown eyes.
And I was all whispering in his ears,
"Did you poop in your pants???"
I was panicked because you know,
NO extra underwear-O folks and we're on a field trip at the zoo.
Phew, he shook he his no.
What on earth could it be though???
that's what i was thinking.
and then it hit me.
the upside down turtle.
because the dad in other group was all,
"should one of us flip it back over?"
and i was like,
"i don't think we should touch it."
and he was all,
"they can die if they're on their backs too long."
and i was like,
"really?! wow, i hope someone gets a zoo helper. 
ready to go brennan?"
and the man goes on,
"yeah, they suffocate on their backs because their big shell makes their lungs collapse!!!"
and i'm sitting there giving him the "wow that's interesting" face that i do when people tell me factual stuff.
but mostly i was just trying to bribe the 4yr old and 2yr out of the stinky snake house with fruit snacks and pirate booty and cars for their 16th birthdays--anything to get them away before someone had to start CPR on the upside down turtle.
and that's when brennan started crying.
but he wasn't even that close to us so that's why i thought he pooped his pants because why else would a child burst into tears in the middle of the snake house anyway?!
but you know he didn't poop his pants,
he was just worried about that little upside down turtle dying.
"SUFFOCATING!!!"
and so that's when i said,
"yeah, why don't YOU flip him over, that was a great idea!"
because he was also talking about how his dad raised giant tortoises, and how he was trained in 
flipping them over and stuff like that.
and then i was like,
"don't forget to wash your hands."
after it was clear that the turtle was now safe and sound on the right side of his belly again.
and then brennan told me about how the two turtles were fighting and the one turtle flipped the other turtle over, and that's how it went down.
and on the way out i let the zoo helper know 
we already had it covered.
go us.
so happy that brennan is NO animal killer or torturer.
and that he did not poop his pants.
chase on other hand was completely fascinated,
denying me as his mother on the way out because i dared to pull him away from the front row show of it all.
and then we had to wait on the other side of lawn while the entire group took a picture with the giant metal elephant 
because brennan is still petrified of that darn thing.
going on 5 and 1/2 years folks.
5 and 1/2 years.
note: field trips are so much easier when you're not the teacher that has to ride the bus with 120 kindergartners:)
THE END.
love, emily
whichever;)

the tail though

what does the fox say?
brennan the artist:)
the tail is my favorite part.

Monday, April 14, 2014

from the glow of the hall light behind us.

tonight chase ran into the corner of the wall by the big kid's room.
one minute he was headed for the doorway squealing in pure joy,
and the next minute brennan was jumping out of the dark
roaring like the t-rex in jurrassic park,
and our little carrot top flinched himself RIGHT into the side of the wall.
like SMACK he bounced off of that wall, and then he was down on the ground wailing in agony.
i scooped him up, and he buried his instantly bruised goose egged face into my hair.
and i could smell my hairspray from his breath breathing into my hair so hard,
and i wondered if when my kids were older if that's one of the things they would remember about me.
my Aussie brand hairspray smell.
from the aerosol can.
one thing's for sure.
i know they will remember how i hummed them the stay awake song.
but never sang it.
because i never learned the lyrics.
sometimes they hum along with me.
always by age 2, sometimes a note or two around age 1.
every time i love to look at the shadow on the yellow curtains,
from the glow of the hall light behind us.
little baby legs draped off on each side of me,
like some kind of pinch that this amazing dream we're living in might actually be real.
and so sometimes i hum it about 100 times to make it go on until their almost fast asleep.
{would you look at those chubby fingers though! SWOON:)}
...
"Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes.

Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
Stay awake, don't nod and dream."

3 feet

i give you,
the 3 foot tall tongue flipper.
there's just something special about this kid.
i could squish that baby chest chub every day of the week and twice on sunday.
or a million.
whichever.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

golden grahams, almonds, & a peanut or two???

in his defense,
they really were the most amazing chocolate clusters i've ever had in my entire life.
i'm STILL thinking about them.
i can't stop thinking about them!
and i spent almost the entire party going back for more
and more
and more
and more
trying to figure out all of the magical things they held within their milk chocolate vaults of deliciousness.
golden grahams
almonds
a peanut or two???
i will distraught over the matter until i get it replicated.
thank goodness my cousin libby got baptized last saturday so that i could partake.
plus, it IS my favorite church thing EVER to attend.
and not just for the chocolates;)

Saturday, April 12, 2014

#saturday

mostly he doesn't have an ounce of aggression in his entire body,
so this is his shining moment of the entire game.
every time.
and one time he scored a goal when the ball bounced off of his shinguard.
go blue fire megladawns:)