"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, May 3, 2014

letters to Beth {puke, bee sting, and other highlights from my day}

dear beth,
this is the story of my last 36 hours....or something.
events will occur in real time.
{did you ever watch 24? jack is back. two more days. yowza!}

friday morning 
max pukes.
pineapple and water.
all over my bathroom floor.
like i was half asleep and she
was drinking my water on my bedside table after eating pineapple downstairs,
and i have yet to open my eyes at this point because i am still in the land of pretty much asleep.
i know she's talking to me, 
but i wear earplugs, 
so mostly i just said "awesome, love ya, mmmm-hmmmm, 5 more minutes ok?"
as i heard the faint voice decibels of max. 
but then she dry heaved.
and i was all, "smaller sips hun, so you don't puke".
{because she has the gag reflex that makes her puke 
when she takes big bites or big drinks.
it's a thing.
an annoying thing.
but still, it's a thing.}
max dry heaves again.
i open one eye.
max dry heaves with a lurch.
i open both eyes.
max runs to bathroom, pukes once on my bathroom floor.
i sit up.
max pukes three times on my bathroom floor.
i run to hold her hair and pat her back while she pukes a bunch more.
pineapple.
and water.
all over my bathroom floor.
good thing, cause i'd been meaning to mop. for awhile.
poor girl.
fever.
more fever.
short nap.
fever.
pepperoni, sausage, onion, bell pepper, 
i was out of olives, stuffed crust, new pizza sauce pizza i made for dinner.
and as i went to bed i thought about how glad i was that she only puked once,
and man it felt good to have the worst behind us.
famous last words:)

saturday middle 
of the night morning: 
12:15am-max wakes up crying.
1:06am-max wakes up crying.
2:23am-max wakes up crying.
wants a drink.
needs some bread.
can she have a popsicle?
3:35am-max wakes up crying.
4am-max still crying.
i give her benedryl.
and i think "that's too bad, cause now she won't wake up in time for soccer."
{first game got rained out, 2nd game we completely forgot to go, 
and the third game was today AND picture day . i was really making an effort to go.}
i was wrong. i was sooo wrong.
6:45am-max wakes up crying. 
how on earth is this even possible? that's what i was thinking.
i coax her into my bed.
she sleep talks every 5 minutes, but falls asleep.
7:23am-brennan wakes up for the first time.
i tell him he can have any car he wants when he turns 16 if he lets us sleep some more.
or i give him my phone.
whichever.
8:35-max wakes up crying.
we go downstairs for breakfast.

saturday morning:
9:15am-I GET STUNG BY A BEE FLIPPING PANCAKES.
i kid you not.
it crawled up brennan's sleeve.
i lifted his sleeve up,
it flew out.
it went after him again.
so i went after the bee with a kleenex, 
even though i knew that what i needed was a paper towel.
not a good day to be fresh out of paper towels.
the bee won.
i lost.
my right 4th finger lost to be exact.
it still hurts 12 hours later.
i slapped some baking soda and water on my sting.
which did NOTHING to help the pain.
i had no idea how much bee stings hurt.
it may have been a wasp.
it was big, yellow and black, and hairy.
like a yellow jacket on steroids.
does that make it a wasp?
so then of course i hear chase chirping at me from his bed.
and i wander up there with my now pulsing 4th finger covered in baking soda hand,
where i find him dancing and spinning in circles in his crib,
with the drapes torn down from the rod for the third day in a row.
we don't go to soccer.
we don't go to soccer pictures.
OH FOR 3 HERE with max and soccer.
O-FOR-3.
it's only 10:13am.
max stays home with sean while i go to watch brennan play his 2 hours of soccer.
i go to lunch and frozen yogurt with him after.
it makes me realize how fun it is to be with him alone.
best conversation in town.
just like his dad.
we run 3 errands.
i come home.
sean leaves for stake conference meetings.
i sit down with a still sick max,
and chase wakes up.
early.
and i can't figure out why he's up so early.
and then i find him.
i find him in a crib filled with poo.
CRIB FILLED WITH POO.
POOP!
EVERYWHERE!!!
E
V
E
R
Y
W
H
E
R
E
everything into the washing machine.
baby into the tub.
two more kids come running into tub.
i start wondering if all people's lives are this chaotic,
or if it's just mine?
max now appears to have pink eye.
i decide to wait to reevaluate that one tomorrow.
brennan poops in his pants.
and i start singing,
"the sun'll come out tomorrow,
bet your bottom dollar that
TOOOOOMMMOOOORRRROOOWWWW
THEY'LL BE SUUUUUNNNN!!!!"
and then i take pictures of poop everywhere and babies in baths,
and text it all to sean to read and enjoy during his stake leadership training meeting.
and it makes me laugh.
like it genuinely makes me laugh,
and helps me get through this amazing crazy hilarious life that i get to live with all of these tiny humans that i love so very VERY much.
seriously though, the chaos sometimes is just so much that it's hilariously funny.
the boys watched a movie,
i braided max's hair,
and the kids ate kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner.
read two chapters out of roald dahl's the witches on the ends of their beds,
and kissed them goodnight while sean mowed the backyard.
and then when he came in with the mail,
i declared your mom a prophet!
right then and there.
before i even opened the box.
because the woman just has a sense about things of this nature.
and always knows just the right day to schedule the most amazing 
wonderful thing to appear OUT OF THIN AIR
RIGHT when i need it:)
and i knew that only one tall 3-D rectangularly wrapped box from trader joe's could be.
chocolate covered peppermint joe-joe's.
HERE!
today!
in may:)
after 36 hours of
puke,
no sleep,
crying,
fever,
poop,
bee sting,
more fevers,
more poop,
and did i mention chase got out of the shower,
squatted, and peed on the carpet like he was camping at a KOA?
that kind of day.
that kind of 2 days.
see what i mean?
sight seer:)
PALM READING PSYCHIC.
in the most flattering kind of prophesying non-apostate kind of way!
and then all of sudden everything was fixed.
and the day was great.
and i laughed about what a great story my last 36 hours was going to make.
all thanks to a box of chocolate covered peppermint joe-joe's 
with a return P.O. BOX address from Quincy, Californ-I-A.
{would you look at that belly button? the best. THE BEST!}
what happened in your last 2 days?
i hope this letter finds you and yours well WELL well!
tomorrow's gonna be a new day.
i can just feel it:)
love,
emiline

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